Daily PIDGIN HEADLINES– 28/08/2025 Edition

 


 Daily PIDGIN HEADLINES– 28/08/2025 Edition

By Prince Agbedeyi O. D

ASUU Wahala

  • Strike dey smell again o! Professors dey complain say dem dey pay dem like NYSC corpers – just ₦525k per month. Na “Professor wey dey do side hustle fit survive.”

  • FG and ASUU dey meet today. Abeg make dem no use the meeting take break kola nut only.

  • ASUU President vex: “None of our agreements dey alive, na all of dem don kpai since.”

Money & Wahala

  • Nigerians spend ₦1.3 trillion on petrol for June – bros, no be petrol we dey buy, na our destiny we dey pour inside tank.

  • Uzodimma approve ₦104k minimum wage – Salary don climb, but food price dey run faster than Usain Bolt.

  • FG collect ₦393bn tax from Dangote and co – Baba Dangote fit still buy Nigeria if e like.

Security & Gobe

  • Army and DSS neutralise 50 bandits for Niger – Na like football scoreline, but this one no dey sweet watch.

  • 16 kidnap victims rescued for Benin-Lagos Road – kidnappers sef don dey oversabi hustle.

  • Navy don arrest 333 vessels in 6 years – Na like say dem dey do vessel collection promo.

Blackout & Explosion

Politics & Palava

  • Jonathan: “INEC chair must be credible, no be political handbag.”

  • El-Rufai don talk: “2027 I no dey contest anything.” – Nigerians dey whisper: “We no believe till election day.”

  • PDP FCT don endorse Olawepo-Hashim – na politics wey be like musical chair.

Flooding & Tears

  • Yobe dey relocate victims, Ondo dey warn say, “No throw dirt anyhow” – Na flood don turn environmental police.

  • Tragedy for Zaria – mama and 3 children die for building collapse – Our country still dey play Jenga with people lives.

Business & Packaging

  • Air Peace dey plan aircraft maintenance facility for Lagos – at least no more “Air Peace dey go mechanic village.”

  • Consolidated Hallmark announce 404% profit – even JAMB candidates dey jealous.

  • Nestlé empower 250 Bauchi food vendors – Na “maggi-powered” empowerment be this.

International & Abroad

  • Tinubu dey target 7 million youths for digital literacy – make dem sabi computer pass pressing phone.

  • China dash Nigeria $1m flood relief money – but e still no fit buy our politicians conscience.

  • Tinubu’s Brazil waka na “strategic game changer” – Dem say e go connect jollof rice with Brazilian samba.

✨ Today in History:
1963 – Martin Luther King shout “I Have a Dream” – If na Naija version, e for talk: “I get dream say NEPA no go take light during Champions League.”

Humor Wrap by:
Prince Agbedeyi O. D
CEO, Global Egberi Media International


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