Daily Pidgin Headlines with Humor

 


📰 Daily Pidgin Headlines with Humor

By Prince Agbedeyi Odimientimi Desmond

🚤 Accidents & Wahala

  • Sokoto Canoe Palava: Six pipo don waka go meet Baba God, 21 manage survive. Canoe no be Uber, abeg! 🚣‍♂️

  • Kogi Road Project: Umahi shout say road still dey 1% despite N1bn release. Abi na road dey trek go its own destiny? 🤦‍♂️

⚕️ Health & Strike Vibes

  • LUTH Wahala: Lagos NMA dey para, warn say strike go land because salary dey miss. Doctor wey hungry fit operate? Na serious risk oo. 🍲💉

🏗️ Construction & Business

🏛️ Politics & Governance

  • Benue Assembly: New speaker, Emberga, don carry gavel. Hope e no go use am for pepper soup table. 🥘

  • INEC: Don open shop for physical voter registration. 5.9m PVC still dey like suya for freezer. 🔖

  • PDP NEC: Dem dey drag zoning report like goat wey no wan enter pot. 🐐

🌍 International & Regional Gist

  • Nigeria–Japan: Dey plan mining investment. Abeg make no be another “promise and fail” seminar. ⛏️

  • Malema: Condemn xenophobia, say Nigeria & South Africa suppose join hand. True talk, but hope dem no go join hand slap each oda. 🤝

⚽ Sports & Entertainment

  • AfroBasket: Angola regain title, D’Tigers dey return home. Nigerians go say, “At least dem no carry last.” 🏀

  • Priscilla Ojo & Juma Jux: Welcome baby boy for Canada. Baby don already get dual citizenship wey papa no get. 👶🇨🇦

💰 Money & Economy

  • Customs Report: $2.2m undeclared cash don jam dem for airports. Na who dey use airport as piggy bank sef? 💸

  • Wema Bank: Exceed recapitalisation with ₦157bn rights issue. Na bank wey sabi hustle. 💳

  • UBA Promo: ₦150m dey fly for financial inclusion. Abeg, inclusion na make my own account balance increase. 😂

🏡 Society & Culture

  • Ibadan Mogajis: Ladoja beg make dem no abandon ancestral home. Na home wey ancestors dey rent-free be that. 🏚️

  • Lagos SMEs: Government dey target $1bn contribution. Hope dem SMEs no go turn “SMEh” with too much tax. 💼

🕰️ Today in History

  • 1991: Michael Schumacher debut for Formula One. Even though him no win, later him carry 91 trophies. Moral of the story: First time no be last time. 🏎️

💡 Quote of the Day

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” – Wayne Dyer

Pidgin Version:
👉 “If you no believe say you worth, na like person wey buy iPhone but no get charger — fine but useless.” 😂📱

✅ Author: Prince Agbedeyi Odimientimi Desmond


Comments

Post a Comment