GLOBAL EGBERI MEDIA INTERNATIONAL – PIDGIN HEADLINES WITH HUMOR

 

📰 GLOBAL EGBERI MEDIA INTERNATIONAL – PIDGIN HEADLINES WITH HUMOR

1️⃣ Gas wahala don land again – CNG don jump reach ₦450 per SCM as FG waka commot subsidy. Na who go still buy am now? Even okada fit begin use fufu water. 🤣

2️⃣ BPE wan list DisCos and GenCo for stock exchange. Abeg, make dem no go list NEPA ladder join. 🔌😂

3️⃣ Shettima dey 59 today – E say Tinubu na im oga kpatakpata. Tinubu reply: “No wahala, na me still dey sponsor your birthday cake.” 🎂😂

4️⃣ Three labourers for Lagos don kpeme for makeshift house. Lesson: no be every “apartment” wey dem write for WhatsApp group na house. 🏚️

5️⃣ Court don order DNA for Mohbad pikin – Pikin wey never chop cornflakes, dem wan carry am go lab. 👶🧬

6️⃣ Kwara dey set launch 2nd biggest shea butter factory for Naija – Na so bread go soon dey shine like motor body. 🥖🧈✨

7️⃣ UBA and Mastercard don bring prepaid card for low-income earners. Meaning say you go still be broke, but at least na with style. 💳🤣

8️⃣ Minimum wage palava – NECA don shout say states no get excuse to pay less than ₦70k. Some governors dey reason: “Shebi we fit still pay am with pure water sachet?” 💦😂

9️⃣ Champions League wahala – Bayelsa Queens don reach WAFU B final. Na our women dey represent while men still dey do “mathematical permutation.” ⚽😂

🔟 Putin yarn say Russia no vex if Ukraine join EU. Hmm… no be so person dey smile dey hide cutlass? 🇷🇺🔪😂

1️⃣1️⃣ Trump don bring new tariff matter – Tinubu talk say “Naija no dey shake.” E mean say pounded yam still dey stable. 🍲😂

1️⃣2️⃣ Customs don catch rifles and drones for Ogun, Ondo. Naija criminals sef don dey run like Hollywood directors. 🎥🔫😂

1️⃣3️⃣ Flood dey come this September – FG don warn say 29 states fit soak. Abeg, buy canoe before pure water seller buy am finish. 🚣🤣

1️⃣4️⃣ Wike don dash job to late FCT HoS children – E show say “connection” no dey die, e just dey transfer. 👔😂

1️⃣5️⃣ Oyo varsity radio studio catch fire – Students talk say dem still dey wait for DJ to drop last track. 🔥🎶

😂 Did You Know – Pidgin Edition

“Barbarian” na word wey Greek people use for anybody wey no sabi speak Greek. To dem ear, e just be like “bar bar bar.” 🤪

“Suriphobia” mean say you dey fear rat. So if you dey fear small rat, you dey suffer suriphobia. 🐭😂

✍️ Morning Charge

“No dey look mountain as mountain, sometimes na small hill wey wear disguise.” – Prince Agbedeyi O. D. PhD